Blog #1: Understanding Trauma, the Victim Mentality and the Cycle of Codependency
When you live in codependent and narcissistic relationships, their drama becomes your trauma. Drama can show up in a number of ways, from their need to be in control, to their own self-importance, to manipulation, to anger, to withdrawal, to justification, to hyper analysis, to lack of self control and so on. As for trauma, it often occurs in childhood and gets played out in adulthood because the residual imprint of the trauma lies in the subconscious, looking for ways to reconcile itself. Thus, the unresolved trauma propels the person to engage in various types of unhealthy relationships, unconsciously looking for the other to help it heal. Unfortunately, the victimized often enter relationships with narcissistic personalities. Whether they be overt or covert narcissists, they tend to gravitate toward the caring and compassionate victim.
The ongoing drama deepens the traumatic imprint, making the victim feel more and more stuck even if they have achieved success in other parts of their lives. The victims of physical, mental and emotional abuse often live with much internal conflict spurring on doubts, insecurities, guilt, shame, and blame. The cycle of blame is probably the worst thing the victim can engage in that keeps them feeling stuck and defeated – both self-blame and blame against the other. Blame prevents the victim from seeing clearly and acting authentically.
Because the initial trauma was perpetrated by another person, the victim will unconsciously seek outside of themselves for resolution. Someone else must make right the vulnerability and hurt they felt when they were victimized. In a way, this makes logical sense. Yet, this is not the path of healing. This is the route of further entanglement and victimization. We did not have power when the initial traumatic experience occurred. That’s why we were victimized. Thus, we cannot continue giving away our power in hopes of realizing our desired outcome.
When we give away our power, we are denying ourselves of our own worth and wellbeing. The harder the victim tries to make sense of the drama and chaos, the more they feel they are losing themselves. They know deep down who they are and what they want. However, the drama confuses them and averts their attention to the ongoing agenda of the narcissist. They end up betraying what they know and deepen their victim mentality.
For healing, attention and energy must be brought back within themselves, to tune into what they feel in their gut but may not trust in their mind. As stated previously, just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you don’t know what’s good for you. As a matter of fact, there is a deep yearning for what you know is true for you. Again, the original trauma causes you to question your worth and the ongoing drama keeps you victimized to another’s agenda.
If you relate to what I’ve shared here, please comment below with the words, “Victim no more” or share what resonated with you most. Also, I invite you to a discovery call with me. This is not a sales call. I promise I will not try to sell you anything. Having lived through and have healed greatly from this vicious cycle, I want to gain a more extensive understanding of it, especially its impact on women. It would mean the world to me if we could hop on a quick call and I could ask you a few questions. Or if you know of someone who fits this description, please share this blog with them or introduce me. Thanks in advance for your time. Here’s the link to schedule your appointment. [calendar link]
An intriguing discussion is worth comment. I do think that you should publish more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people dont speak about such subjects. To the next! Cheers!!
Thanks so much for sharing. And you are right, while it’s not taboo, talking about trauma and its effects are often difficult because so much of the dynamics of trauma is related to our family of origin. Thus, it makes it a difficult topic to navigate. For the family members involved, to acknowledge the trauma is also an admission of their part. However, if stuffing the traumatic event was an effective remedy, so many of us would not be hurting right now. Kindness can soften the difficulties around the awareness of the pain, its origin, and its path to healing and transformation. Peace and blessings to you.
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Hi Madelaine, here’s her answer: Your website is built on WordPress, with Learndash, but the actual hosting page (that Learndash uses) is Nexcess. So the answer would be Nexcess 😊
Hi Madelaine, thank you! I’ve asked the web designer and waiting for her reply. Blessings! ✨️
Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is important and everything. However just imagine if you added some great photos or videos to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with pics and video clips, this blog could definitely be one of the greatest in its niche. Excellent blog!
Good site you’ve got here.. It’s difficult to find excellent writing like yours nowadays. I truly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
Thanks so much Vincent. I appreciate you taking the time to share. Blessings. 🙂
Thanks so much for your feedback. Definitely good to include your suggestion. Blessings. 🙂
Auf der Suche nach einer effektiven Lösung zur Gewichtsabnahme stoßen viele Menschen auf Reduslim. Die Reduslim Recenzioni sind überwiegend positiv und loben die Wirksamkeit dieses Nahrungsergänzungsmittels. Reduslim hilft dabei, den Stoffwechsel zu beschleunigen und somit Fett schneller zu verbrennen.
Die Inhaltsstoffe von Reduslim sind natürlichen Ursprungs und sorgen dafür, dass das Hungergefühl reduziert wird. Dadurch fällt es leichter, weniger Kalorien aufzunehmen und somit Gewicht zu verlieren. Die regelmäßige Einnahme von Reduslim in Kombination mit einer gesunden Ernährung und ausreichend Bewegung kann zu schnellen und nachhaltigen Erfolgen führen.
Die Reduslim Recenzioni zeigen, dass viele Anwender bereits nach kurzer Zeit positive Veränderungen an ihrem Körper feststellen konnten. Neben der Gewichtsabnahme berichten sie auch von einer gesteigerten Energie und einem verbesserten Wohlbefinden.
Wer also auf der Suche nach einer effektiven Unterstützung beim Abnehmen ist, sollte definitiv die Reduslim Recenzioni genauer unter die Lupe nehmen und sich selbst von den positiven Erfahrungen überzeugen lassen.